France and Diversity: Blind to the lack of acceptance?

I got offended by a co-worker the other day.

Took me a while to calm myself down and stop feeling angry inside. In order to get this out of my system I had to write it down. Writing... what a great way to evacuate unpleasant feelings!

The co-worker who upset me, a lady, joined (uninvited) a conversation I was having with a freshly arrived English teacher (a newbie like me). I was politely asking him how he was holding up considering the girl who had the job just before him did not last a week. Yes, teaching can be real tough for some people... tougher than it looks.

The lady started asking about our respective area of studies. When she asked me, I told her I was still a student and we ended up talking about my thesis. She first asked me why I chose this topic. I explained that I chose it because France has very interesting/strange ways of dealing with its minorities. I continued and explained that in France government and institutions (as well as the general public) tend to dislike the idea of communities, particularly religious ones. They refuse the concept of diversity, and refuse to deal with the reality of diversity in “a friendly manner”, for instance they chose to make laws against them, such as the headscarf ban... Such attitude showed that in France we are far from the acceptance and respect minorities can get in countries like the US, UK or Canada.

She first said that she was unaware of the fact that Muslim woman couldn’t wear their headscarf freely... (um, really?). She then strongly disagreed with my statement, because she said that she was married with an African man who would entirely disagree with my statement too (and that was just the weirdest justification).

My new co-worker took my side and started to talk about integration and assimilation. But the lady still had a problem with it. In an attempt to explicate in a “simple” way the problem with France and diversity, I said that in order to do be considered as fully integrated, or rather, assimilated, Muslims in France should drink wine and eat pork. That was very cliché but I thought it explained the point in a straightforward manner.

She replied that wine was good and that “Dans le cochon tout est bon!” (We use everything but the squeal /oink). And then she asked a question that was not exactly related to my work:  “Why aren't Muslims eating pork?” When I told her it was about convictions, she was not satisfied and added: “You must have asked them” – after that it was clear she did not understand the subject of my research, and assumed she knew better than me what my work was about.

When I answered, I explained it was not important to understand why. That it was about freedom of expression and respect of the other people convictions and identities. She answered "Well good, good, I can see you've learned your lesson but what is the fundamental, logical reason being it?" (See the disdain here?)

So I told her that Muslim do this out of faith and belief, no matter the various “logical” reasons one could find to this particular practice. She clearly could not accept the idea because for her having faith and acting on personal conviction was not enough for someone to do something. She even added that if it was true it was “scary".

What else could have I said after that aside for “Sorry got to go, have a class...”? There was no way the conversation would go anywhere if the simple idea that not eating pork was a habit made out of an order that the faithful believer considers divine sounded ridiculous and scary to her.

Why can’t she understand that it is not about understanding but respecting? For both the faithful and for her?

Anyway, I had reached a dead end. And the funny thing is that she proved that I was right to tell her that France has problems accepting diversity. Indeed, her condescending remarks towards my answers, and her general lack of respect in her attitude, strongly demonstrated that she was not that tolerant. Marrying a Black man or an Asian lady doesn’t make a person tolerant or respectful of other cultures or religions – let this be clear. It is not about skin colour. It’s about respecting other people’s belief and not ridicule them for expressing their difference. Try to understand that these people can be the very same colour as you, can be born in the very same country as you and call themselves the same as you: FRENCH.

Anyway, my point is: French people are often uninformed, yet condescending. By acting like she did, she just demonstrated my point and she did not even realise it. Consequently, I will not discuss any of my business with anyone else on the workplace because I don’t want to know the limit of my co-workers open-mindedness, and I really don’t want any unnecessary tension. That was the very first and the very last time I discuss something that was unrelated to teaching or students with a co-worker.