Sunday 5 June 2016

Tirer & Conserver le lait maternel


Je n'ai commencé à tirer mon lait qu'à partir du moment où mon enfant avait cinq mois. Avant, j'étais disponible pour lui en permanence, et tant mieux car je n'avais aucune envie de tirer mon lait. Du coup, je pense que mes montées de lait et ma quantité de lait étaitent parfaitement adaptées au rythme de mon bébé et j'ai du mal à tirer des quantités importantes de lait. Je faisais seulement 60 ml sur un sein. 

Bon, j'utilise une pompe manuelle mais je ne pense pas que cela soit un problème. Au contraire une pompe manuelle permet d'être plus proche de la façon dont tète un bébé car les mouvements de pompages sont plus irréguliers et mimiquent donc plus la façon de téter du bébé.

Je pense cependant que mon enfant sait mieux tirer le lait que la pompe et que mes montées sont vraiment très adaptées à ses besoins. Du coup, après avoir atteints ma limite avec la pompe, je donne le même sein (apparemment vide) à mon fils et il boit! Le corps est une machine incroyable. 


Une fois pompé, je mets le lait dans des pots en verre Mason Ball stérilisés que j'ai trouvé sur internet sur le site Comptoir Américain. Je les ferme avec des couvercles en plastiques Ball achetés sur Amazon.com. Ces pots avec les couvercles en plastique peuvent aussi être congelés, je les utilises aussi pour conserver et congeler ses purées.

Wednesday 13 April 2016

You become a mum... Tu deviens mamam...

So one day, it happens... you become a mother.
I mean yeah. You give birth and all of a sudden there is this little being next to you, after being inside you for a while (still can't get my mind around that hallucinating fact: I grew a little man inside my body).

I have so much to tell, many thoughts and advise to share: pregnancy, delivery, post-partum, perineal and pelvic floor problems, cosleeping, breastfeeding, plastic or glass, witching hour, growth spurts, teething, napping, scheduling... Yeah, I am a mum.

Ask me anything!

Alors un jour ça t'arrive... tu deviens maman.
Je veux dire, waouh. Tu accouches et tout d'un coup il y a un petit être humain à côté de toi, un petit être qui a passé un bon moment à l'intérieur de toi. Je sais, je n'arrive toujours pas à réaliser ce truc totalement hallucinant: j'ai fabriqué un petit homme à l'intérieur de moi!

J'ai tellement à raconter, des réflexions et des conseils à partager : grossesse, accouchement, post-accouchement, allaitement, cododo, pleurs du soir, rééducation du périnée (CMP), poussée de croissance, dentaire, plastique ou verre...  Ouais... j'suis maman.

Demande-moi ce que tu veux!

Tuesday 13 January 2015

Charlie Hebdo unveils Republican Islam and revives fraternity.


The violent attacks against Charlie Hebdo and the following events that ended on the evening of January 9 with two simultaneous offensives in Paris, against Coulibaly, and in its outskirts, against the Kouachi brothers, leading to the deaths of these 3 attackers have shocked the whole nation. In total, 20 deaths, 17 victims including journalists, policemen and civilians. This bloodshed particularly affected the French population because it occurred on their territory, where they should be feeling safe, and was perpetrated by Frenchmen, people who should be somewhat like-minded, having been born and raised in France.

How could this happen? How is it possible that Frenchmen have been able to carry these attacks against, no just journalists, but against the first Republican value: liberty? Is it their religion that led them to act with so much violence? Is it an ideology, their skin colour or the failure of the French Republic to integrate all its citizens? But, overall, what does this mean for France and French Muslims?  What does this say about freedom of expression, about tolerance, respect and responsibility?

While reading the various reactions on the media and social networks in France and beyond, I have realised that French Muslims are more than ever in a dire straight, they are French and Muslims, often considered as alien and stigmatised in their own country and culture, they are now criticised by Muslim worldwide for being too French.

These events have showed that French culture and republican values are as important to French Muslims as their religion. Indeed, many French Muslims are just as shocked and outraged as any other French citizens by those acts committed against the freedom of the press, against the freedom of speech that guarantees French citizens’ rights to free information, free thinking and free expression. Consequently, French Muslims have been commenting and marching as French citizens rather than Muslims, showing the prevalence of their attachment to their country, culture and its values in this particular situation. This simple fact clearly illustrates the formation of a French Islam, a Republican Islam. But this has consequences, since Islam belongs to many cultures and not all humans are equipped to apprehend and understand each other and even less so when they belong to different cultures.

Consequently, for many Muslims around the globe, the position of French Muslims is difficult to understand. It may be seen as a disgrace because they are defending the right of speaking freely and thus, the right to disrespect the Prophet by depicting him in offensive ways. Yet, the Muslim faith is aniconic; it does not have and avoids symbols, icons, objects and depictions of God and His many prophets because of the risks of idolatry and association (worshipping something or someone other than God, the capital sin in Islam), not because of possible risks of mockery. And, many cultures do not mind depicting God and His prophets often for mockery and other disrespectful purposes. Yet, French Muslims are judged harshly by other Muslims - even though they also condemned Charlie Hebdo for being offensive and irresponsible - because they are French and embrace the idea of liberty, this liberty to speak freely, which, I repeat, encompasses the liberty to freely inform themselves and, most importantly, to think and express themselves freely… a reality that is unknown to many humans.

In fact, not just Muslims but French people from all backgrounds have denounced Charlie Hebdo for being the engine of anti-Islam and anti-Muslim sentiment and thus the catalyst for disrespect, intolerance and xenophobia, as well as marginalization, exclusion and fanaticism. And this is something that has been heard and that has been made visual by the various marches organised across the country, calling for unity rather than divisions based on religion or ethnicity. French people have reacted using the most simple and peaceful mean of action: standing all together, against violence, prejudice and bigotry.

Photo taken in Bordeaux at the end of a march organised by religious communities against fanaticism, 9 Jan 2015.


Of course, the mass protests of January 11 have illustrated fears, fears of division, racism and viciousness, thus augmenting a common desire for unity in the face of tragedy, a unity that did not seem to mean uniformity, for once. Unfortunately, I must acknowledge the fact that French women and men, have failed to demonstrate the same chocked and immediate responses when fellow humans across the globe died because of French foreign policies and their interference in many conflicts reflecting only the self-interests of a handful of decision-makers. They did not spontaneously organised mass night vigils or gathered to denounce the violence and deaths their nation inflicted on millions of innocent humans. Their blood was not shed on French pavements; it was shed on the dusty soil of faraway lands… so they do not feel concerned. Being French should be more than caring about your own people and blood, but for some reasons caring about those victims feels like asking too much from my fellow citizens… we seem far away from the universalism we claim. I personally have Islam to remind me of my humanitude (as opposed to humanism) which enables me to discern the roots of our shared human condition and, by doing so, what is essential to it.

In an increasingly interconnected world in which we know who dies, how and why almost instantly; it is disheartening to see that French people, who have known many wars in the twentieth century and have become increasingly intolerant to suffering and death, are unable to gather when their government decided to join forces with other Western powers and kill for democracy… well - let us not fall into that trap and let me respect your intelligence as a reader - we all know the real motivations: greed, control and supremacy. Our governments are not better than those who kill in the name of Islam or God, actually they stem from the same human weakness: an overtly preponderant ego seeking nothing but immediate self-satisfaction and annihilation of those who defy this ego.

Regardless of the sickness of humanity, I am optimistic. I think that whenever humans are challenged they tend to think harder. Accordingly, many French people are challenged in their ideas, prejudices and beliefs and are probably thinking harder. Thus, if channelled properly and if what happened is not buried in the darkness of oblivion, these events may well be the catalyst for a New France, for a new understanding of what makes us French, for a new sense of belonging…  After all, the republican ideals of liberty, equality and fraternity are what French people aspire to, tend to; and if liberty and equality have been put forth through many political and social movements, fraternity never prevailed as much as it did these past few days. Let’s hope French people capitalise on this freshly rediscovered value. 

Wednesday 5 November 2014

Environmentalist terrorists and the blind French authorities...

Do we need to rethink what constitutes terrorism acts based on the ideology and cause behind the acts? 

Following the tragic death of 21-year-old environmental activist Rémi Fraisse in a police grenade blast on the construction site of a dam in the early hours of Sunday 26th of October 2014, I could not help but notice the hypocrisy of local and national officials who seem to understand the demands and frustrations (because their demands are not met when carried out through regular channels) expressed in these violent acts.

I believe that the level of violence displayed by this group of activists is close to acts of terrorism. Indeed, police task forces who were sent to protect the construction sites where heavy machinery was kept “were attacked by the violent group of activists (approx. a hundred activists) who were throwing Molotov cocktails, pyrotechnic devices and stones from outside the construction site, on the fence and inside the site”[1] stated Claude Déren, prosecutor of the Republic. Consequently, these activists had planned their attack of the construction site, they had come prepared (Molotov cocktails can’t be made out of thin air) and where determined to seriously jeopardise further developments in the construction of the dam… and their own lives.

After hearing these activists explain the necessity to resort to violent forms of protest on France Info, it was undeniable that their action that night was indeed planned. The fact that the government, local and regional authorities are unable to see that the actions planned and carried out by this group of activist are, according to French law[2], terrorist acts is simply baffling. But what is even more outrageous and surreal is that they are excusing these terrorist acts and that the police forces end up being held responsible and under legal examination. How is it possible that police forces end up being accused by the violent activists, who initiated the violence[3], of extreme and violent implementation of security measures? I mean… who are the criminals here? 

 
I wonder what would have been the reaction of government officials if these activists had a different ideology and cause. What if the police had killed a young Kader while he was expressing his frustration at the soaring unemployment statistics and the consequent lack of social mobility with a group of violent activists representing one or several civil society organisations? Would he be considered a ‘terrorist’? Based on what? His name? His skin colour? His presumed religion? His presumed social and economic background?

All I know is that, in France, some environmentalists have been intentionally and purposefully using violent means for a while now (in 2013, violent and lasting actions were documented in Notre-Dame-des-Landes but did not cause any death) and that nobody seem to equate their actions with terrorism… Why aren’t they? Why aren’t they condemn for using violent forms of protest? Is it because they are violent for the environment, a cause that would make they struggle more friendly? But then, we would need to redefine terrorism and allow violent means of actions for all causes, wouldn’t we?



[1] Les forces de l’ordre, qui avaient pour mission de protéger l’aire de stockage des engins de chantier, «ont été attaquées en règle par le groupe de manifestants violents, approximativement une centaine, qui jetaient des cocktails Molotov, des engins pyrotechniques et des pierres sur le grillage et à l’intérieur, depuis l’extérieur», a rapporté le procureur. http://www.20minutes.fr/societe/1468843-20141027-barrage-sivens-sait-circonstances-mort-remi-fraisse
[2] Code pénal (art. 421.1) « Constituent des actes de terrorisme, lorsqu'elles sont (L n°96-647 du 22 juillet 1996) « intentionnellement » en relation avec une entreprise individuelle ou collective ayant pour but de troubler gravement l'ordre public par l'intimidation ou la terreur les actes suivants : les atteintes à la vie… les vols, les destructions, les dégradations et détériorations ainsi que les infractions en matière informatique…, la fabrication ou la détention de machines. (art. 421.2) Constitue également…le fait d'introduire dans l'atmosphère… (art. 421.3) Constitue également…le fait de participer à un groupement formé ou à une entente établie en vue de la préparation, caractérisée par un ou plusieurs faits matériels, d'un des actes de terrorisme mentionné aux articles précédents.
[3] Refer to the following article commenting a video footage captured by an activist on the afternoon of Saturday 25th of October 2014  http://www.liberation.fr/societe/2014/10/28/sivens-une-video-montre-des-affrontements-qui-ont-precede-la-mort-de-remi-fraisse_1131187 or go directly to the video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9n4BWYNcFrk#t=311

Saturday 4 October 2014

Is going 'unmosqued' the solution to the internal problems and blockages of Western Muslim communities?

Reaction to my experience within Muslim communities in the UK and France, and to the Unmosqued documentary showing the disenchantment of Muslims in the West. 


Regarding the problems within communities that see their members leaving the mosques and remain 'unmosqued', it does sadden me to realise that Muslims in the West are not committed to reaching their potential because of internal problems and blockages preventing dialogue, respect, tolerance, understanding and unity between themselves. I realise it has also a lot to do with the weak nature of humankind, which affect the ideas and behaviours of those among Muslims who do not have truly positive aspirations for their community because their desire for power (even at local levels), their greed, envy and self-conceit prevent them from pursuing honourable objectives such as rallying Muslims and working together for the development, reinforcement and safeguard of open-minded, kind, happy, faithful and active communities of Western Muslims. 

Internal disputes and disagreements should not mean we are enemies, yet it is what I see happening within many Muslim communities, who end up imploding from within because they are unable to dialogue and work together. Sadly, when considering the weaknesses of human nature coupled with the many possible readings of Islam put forth by various groups and their general persisting rigidity towards those who hold different readings and approaches to what really matters, the issue seems unsolvable. This lack of desire to return to, and apply, the fundamental principles and values of Islam; but also this lack of openness to simplicity and alleviation of some practices that are no longer needed in many Western countries with Muslim minorities because it already existing legal, social and political frameworks that are not always contradictory to Islam and might very well be new positive models for Muslims to build on (but who will defend such ideas publicly without fear of being attacked, without facing strong discredit?); and finally, in many cases the lack of spirituality, this missing deep connection to the Almighty, are key issues. 

Frankly, I see no easy and straightforward solutions to these internal problems, and I doubt going 'unmosqued' will solve anything, it may very well aggravate an already highly problematic lack of trustworthy, transparent, accountable, gender inclusive and proactive leaderships who seek a fair level representativeness, are not scared or worried to interact with the media, with other institutions (social and political) and with other religions, and who strive for all Muslims to live and work together.

I should not forget to mention that Muslims men and women at lower levels, active and non-active members of communities, increasingly lack of interest and involvement in the communities to initiate positive change - as if the individualistic culture of the West had fully taken over the hearts and minds of Western Muslims who no longer desire to get involve because they do not want to voice and defend their positions and needs, and consider it is easier to stay away, and keep themselves to their homes in the closed family circles rather than be opened to the challenge and get involved with a community to generate unifying and potentially transforming community-building projects

It is alarming to see that Islam cannot unify as much as ethnicity or language at local levels. This is not what I have learnt from the Prophet (sws)... when are we going to wake up? 

Friday 25 April 2014

Converting to a new lifestyle...

... need for respect or understanding?

So many times I have been asked about why I chose to become Muslim. Regardless of my answer, many people were still very much puzzled about my decision, or worse they would not mind displaying contempt toward my decision and call me stupid by merely saying things like: "But you are such an intelligent person..." Yes, they are calling me stupid yet praising me at the same time, but that is contempt fulled by fear and lack of respect. 

Converting is nothing easy, and for me it is not just people who change their religion that may be faced with these sorts of attitudes. I have notice that many friends who have decided to adopt a different lifestyle, out of the culturally accepted mainstream lifestyle are just being looked up and down, questioned and finally condemned. 

When I converted I face a lot of difficult criticism from family and friends, I lost friends and I gained new ones. When I decided to start a healthier lifestyle, same. Working out 5 days a week and looking after your general diet and food intakes is just as ostracizing as following a different religion. Indeed, your life changes, you acquire new interests, habits, vocabulary, etc. It is as though you enter a subculture, a new reality, a microcosm.

Why is it that people are so judgmental and patronizing about others' decisions? Telling you that you do not know what you are doing and that they know better what is best? I guess the simplest answer is a mixture of toxic ego and disrespect. Why should we have to respect something that does not make sense to us? Why? 

That made me ponder about whether it is respect or understanding that should come first. Shall we respect anyone that does not follow the same lifestyle as us? Shall we judge and dismiss people who do not think like us? When do we have to respect and what does it mean to respect without understanding? 

As a convert Muslim I often felt that regardless of whether or not they understand my lifestyle, people should respect my choice and not make unpleasant allusions and intolerant jokes about it. I felt the same when I decided to workout and eat healthier foods. 

I know a lot of people who choose not to drink alcohol, not to eat junk foods or go vegetarian, vegan or fruitarian etc. go through a get deal of rebuking when others discover their newly or old formed habits. One person's logic is not another's person logic. What works for someone may very well be another person's nightmare. So do we really need to "understand" others in order to respect them? 

Tuesday 12 November 2013

Can't equalize...

She grew up and one day realized,
Yet minimized, the power she had.
The power to make them come... compromise their life, their wife.
She messed up. A close-up materialized.
She was demonized, but not the lad.
The power to make them come...  Nothing but a strife.
She dried up and never realized, 
They can't sympathize or equalize...
nothing to add.