I was preposterous and arrogant before when telling depressed people that low-spirit and depression were not real diseases. And that it would certainly not affect me because I always forced myself to see and focus on what is good.I was younger too though - also I admit it is not an excuse. If you ever recognise yourself... I apologise for having had the nerves to say it to you.
Even if I am still unsure whether or not I have experienced depression, I can however confirm I had very low-spirited days. To my understanding of the phenomenon, our past, our thoughts, and the way we deal with them, are most often what makes us go down the wrong roads.
But I know how not to let them control me. However, what I find harder to control are feelings and emotions related to love. By this I mean the feelings that you may experience because of a person you love, because of how he or she may be with you and how you find your place in this supposedly secure relationship.
My place was optional. Yes, I was an option, may sound weird to you, but it actually is the place that most women will only ever get. Don't worry, for so long I was blind, I thought it was a real commitment, and it became clear to me only very recently it really wasn't.
Interestingly, I believe that the one to blame is me and me only. I choose to associate with certain people.... and so I must deal with the consequences. But I can't say that I am cool with what men do these days. I heard so much unbelievable stories about couples, all showing a snarer side of men, manipulating women and sucking the life out of them, without expressing gratitude, affection or compassion to the women standing by their side like proper soldiers of love.
Yes soldiers of love, women are truly amazing. I find beautiful how much love, patience and bravery women have in them. They do have an incredibly steady potential for love, forgiveness and compassion, but where is the balance in this world? How do we learn to control our potential as female so we don't let our emotions take us downhill?
May be we just don't.
May be it is time for men to self-introspect and change.
Just what I needed. So inspiring!
ReplyDeleteI say POOP on that man who's causing you so much trouble! :D
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you managed to find and put words on what you were and are still feeling.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you that women in general do have this strength coming from inside and somewhere that makes them maybe more humble and therefore readier (more ready?) to accept, be patient, forgive and fight for better.
Blaming couple problems and other kinds of conflicts on men only is not, however to me, the solution for everything.
We women, we ourselves must self-introspect and change too. Maybe our transformation isn't to be as big as for men because we are already inclined to go inside our own little selves, we tend to express our emotions much more than men do and to forgive more easily.
Maybe we are called to go even further and find what's missing in us. Maybe sometimes we should let ourselves be inspired by some traits from men. They have a long way to travel, but they've also got some clues for us to reach balance, harmony and self-control.
Let's dialogue! Let's create bridges between us and them! They seem to be so far but they are so close, looking for something too, begging for answers, aspiring to be better and to find inner peace... just like some of us do.
You know I kept thinking about what you wrote my dear friend. I discussed it with both men and women. I am not generalising here, I don't want to essentialise genders, but I think, for too long now, women have been the only ones struggling.
ReplyDeleteYou cannot say women have a place of choice in our world, you cannot say it is easy to be a woman...
Women are not respected or considered at their right value in most societies, and who made the rules and laws of most societies?
In turn, many women eventually stopped respecting themselves because of the inherent lack of respect our patriarchal world has displayed since the mists of times. Why fight stronger and more established than you, especially if you aren't given the tools for it?
I believe woman have same intellectual potential as men, but they also have an emotional form of intelligence, which is great extra. I am sure that being emotional is not a weakness unless you have always been told the contrary... Our emotions don't make us irresponsible or childish... Our emotions are a strength and this is what should be celebrated, rather than criticised and ridiculed.
I don't see why women should always be the one to endure everything, just because they are women. Men should be our friends, companions, they should seek to help us rather than use us as disposable tissues.
In rape cases, why is there always a doubt regarding the woman, the victim? Why do they question her past, sexual life and mental backgrounds, often despite damning evidences against the man?
I have hundreds of examples like this one I could share... but I have to make a move...
Think about it? I am not saying women have to become selfish and heartless... I am saying it is time for men to learn from us, women.